This is the first Thanksgiving without Turkey for me. Celiac disease sprang a lot of dietary restrictions on me, not the least of which is a seemingly endless list of food allergies. No peanuts, onions, eggs, crab and, you guessed it, TURKEY. Very annoying especially since I have been jonesing for “Turducken” every since I first heard of it.
The award for the best definition of Turducken goes to Marlene Parrish, Post-Gazette circa 2000.
The definition of a turducken reads like something out of the Ancient Annals of Poultry Gynecology. It starts with the architecture of a 15- to 20-pound semi-boneless turkey — the wings and drumsticks remain–that is stuffed with a boneless duck that is stuffed in turn with a boneless chicken.
The last layer of stuffing seems to be variable. In the Cajun tradition from whence this goodie comes, andouille sausage stuffed into the chicken completes this meat-monster-extravaganza. Other cooks are looking for a place to shove their traditional bread crumbs.
But what’s a gluten-free girl with a turkey allergy to do to assuage her craving for this fowl threesome? First things first. I kicked the turkey out of bed.
I called around to the specialty meat places in town that were taking turducken orders and asked them to make me a ducken. My new favorite meat store?
Grass-fed beef and other gluten-free meats. And a list of exotic meat sausages including oh yeah alligator. I stopped by the GF bakery for some GF stuffing mix which I will be blending with my alligator sausage and some terrific shitake mushrooms I picked up at the farmer’s market. Stuffing the frankenbird with gator sausage stuffing, I intend to celebrate the gratitude for exploitation/betrayal of First Nations people day with a DUCKENATOR!
Delicious and decadent… just the way I like it.
For your extra amusement, note I will be sharing the holiday with vegetarians who will enjoy a glutenous Tofurkey and gape in horror at every bite of my carnivore mouth orgy.
I expect to share bites with my two year old granddaughter (if her mother doesn’t pass out) but I’m mostly on my own with this meal. So in an honored week after Thanksgiving tradition, I expect to enjoy Duckenator sandwiches.
Phoenix, AZ
